Women's desirable behavior in every romantic relationship I have ever been in has had a perfect 1:1 linear correlation with my lack of enthusiasm for the relationship.
Tl:dr Women i really liked and wanted to be with treated me like shit and women i didnt really care about treated me great.
The one woman I was the most enthusiastic about being with cheated on me and dumped me unceremoniously after dating exclusively for a year and even talking about getting married (thank God I didn't marry her). I absolutely loved her and would have committed my life to her and she discarded me without a second thought.
Women I wasn't very interested in loved me and cherished my time and attention. Booty calls would drive 3-4 hours to come visit me. Cook me food, buy me stuff, and do whatever I wanted with enthusiasm and without complaint.
I banged this one girl on and off for about 6 months, and made it clear she was not my girlfriend the whole time. I finally moved on and quit returning her calls and UPS'd back the shit she left at my house. I kept all the gifts she had gotten me and there were a bunch. She basically bought me an entire spice cabinet and a bunch of pots and pans so she could cook for me when she came to visit. She recorded a 90 minute musical CD about our relationship and "breakup" and mailed it to me.
Women i was attracted to and was nice to and bent over backwards to accommodate couldnt have been less interested. There was this one chick, she was 19 and was absolutely gorgeous. She worked near me and I'd go visit her on my lunch frequently. She mentioned she liked to go fishing and I eagerly invited her to go with me. She never did. I even brought her a plate of fresh pan fried blue gills one time to show her how much I liked her. She said "they'd be better deep fried". A few days later I found out she was dating some guy with a bunch of tattoos who didn't even like fishing.
Then there was this one time at church, it was a beautiful day, so after the service I went up to a group of people and asked "anybody want to go fishing?" and this kind of pudgy girl I had talked to before but wasn't interested in at all piped up immediately and said "I'll go". Out on the boat I asked her something kind of off the wall about fishing and she says "you can do whatever you want" and her voice just kind of caught my ear funny I look over at her and she's got that look. And I say "oh really?" And she says "yeah really". I didnt bang her because I was friends with her dad but I could have 100%.
I could go on. There was this cute waitress Id been hitting on for a while. One night we went out with her friends and she got a little tipsy and we made out in the back of her friends car as they drove us home. She invited me to spend the night with her but I liked her and wanted to take it slow. I told her this. She had mentioned she liked horses so the next day I drew her a really nice picture of a horse with pencil (it was pretty good, it took me several hours) and gave it to her a few days later. About a week after that she started being shitty and finally gave me the "its not you its me" bit. A couple months later she got up knocked up by a guy who just got out of prison and ended up an having an abortion.
There was this other woman i met at a business meeting. She was slightly below my standards, was a little older than I was shooting for, but she made it really easy to get her number. I invested basically nothing in the relationship. Every once in a while I'd text her "im bored and hungry" and she'd cancel whatever plans she had that day and we'd meet up and bang and then get some food. She was always really appreciative just to spend time with me and thought all my hobbies were the coolest thing ever.
I've got a bunch of similar stories.
I've been married now for about 10 years and things are going pretty well. We have a bunch of kids and I think we're both happy. I find my wife attractive but have always had the attitude that I could do better than her. That seems to be a pretty stable dynamic.
When we were engaged I told her she was "good enough" and she cried. She thought it was an insult, I thought it was a compliment. I think thats the key to a successful relationship. The guy has to have an attitude of "yeah, i guess you'll do" so the woman feels like she has to work hard to keep the guy.
