What is this thing?

Toothpuller

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Moved in to new house. Found this in the shed. Want to throw it away. Wife says we should sell it. I said we should sell her. I have no idea what it is. Comes with a big nifty draw string bag I don’t want. Any help appreciated. Before I get bitched at, I didn’t know where else to post this and I don’t really deal with normie sites.
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ps: was gonna hide a dildo or a tied up hooker in the background somewhere, then realized that no one would think I was serious and I wouldn’t get this thing identified. 😬
 

PotstickerSwatstika

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Need more pics of the thing unfolded.
 

PotstickerSwatstika

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This, and trampoline pad? ...just a WAG

edit:
a cover for something. I dunno.
Yeah, trampoline accessory is my best guess so far too, but that might just be due to those spring hooks. Why would it need a big bag like that?
 

anti-barabas-ite

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Tramp cover or pool cover or now a leaf bag for hauling compost to pile.
 

Toothpuller

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Here it is unfurled. And it has a tag. Pool cover? But why the springs? There’s also no pool here. I tried swimming in the bird bath. 1E3842CD-E9B2-404D-B0B7-F3FCFF24DCFE.jpeg3E1E35CE-7F66-4AD4-8672-DAF7395557F2.jpeg
 

Toothpuller

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It’s never been used. It was all folded up when I unfurled it. Now it’s all wadded up in there. That bag would hold a piano when I pulled the tarp out. Now it won’t fit a hamburger bun when I go to put it back in.
 

PotstickerSwatstika

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It’s never been used. It was all folded up when I unfurled it. Now it’s all wadded up in there. That bag would hold a piano when I pulled the tarp out. Now it won’t fit a hamburger bun when I go to put it back in.
Sorry 😬
 

anti-barabas-ite

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Some in ground pools have spring type attachments that clip onto a "catch" in the pool deck the alan bar would tension the cover after clipping it in place.

Why your place has one?

Mysteries
 

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KookWaffen
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But why the springs?
They connect the cover to grommets mounted in the cement. They get torqued tight so your retarded nephew does not drown when he walks on it in the off season.

The cover basically prevents Bruce Willis from losing his lifting powers: 1:00 mark
 

KosherLampshade

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anti-barabas-ite

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Toothpuller

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If it’s
To get top dollar you must re insert into bag!

Goodluck.
I got it back in. Wasn’t pretty. Was by myself. If it’s worth 500, I’ll sell it for 400. Some unwadding required. 😬. Still don’t know why it was here. Guess I don’t care. I’ll consider it even for all the other stuff they β€œthought I might need.” That I’ve got piled up out back for the dump this weekend.
 
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Toothpuller

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Toothpuller

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Bro! Maybe you got a Russian mass atrocity grave in your back yard. They filled the pool with dead bodies then covered with dirt and sod!
I’ll look for a shovel. I’ve always wanted a throne of skulls!
 

Jebal_Dokundy

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Moved in to new house. Found this in the shed. Want to throw it away. Wife says we should sell it. I said we should sell her. I have no idea what it is. Comes with a big nifty draw string bag I don’t want. Any help appreciated. Before I get bitched at, I didn’t know where else to post this and I don’t really deal with normie sites.
View attachment 95010View attachment 95011View attachment 95012
ps: was gonna hide a dildo or a tied up hooker in the background somewhere, then realized that no one would think I was serious and I wouldn’t get this thing identified. 😬
That's easy one: you'll wrap it around morbidly obese woman, then fix it on a crane, lift her up and you can weigh her.
Just like with horses, similar thing.
 

CharlesWorthing

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Your wife was correct. You should let her sleep in the house tonight.
But not in his bed, obviously. Give her a rug and let her sleep across the doorway as a burglar alarm.

 

Cathy

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Toothpuller, sell it before your wife decides it would make a lovely curtain. 😁
 
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