NOW HIRING SNITCHES

Andrew Anglin

🐁 πŸŽ€ π“‚π’Άπ“ˆπ“‰π‘’π“‡ 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝑒𝒻 πŸŽ€ 🐁
Old World Underground
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The Gamer Uprising is now hiring people to snitch on their compatriots at the Gamer Uprising forum.

The requirements are:
  • Must have an account at the Gamer Uprising forum
  • Must read English
There are no other requirements.

We need to follow the rules of life here at this forum. In fact, we must go above and beyond that, because as gamers, we are a persecuted people. This means that if someone says something like "X deserves for Y to happen to them, just like Brenton Tarrant...!", then that post must be deleted. It might not be illegal for someone to wish violence upon someone else on the internet, but it is generally frowned upon by society, and here at The Gamer Uprising, we only deal in smiles.

Any suggestion of or hint at violence needs to be deleted swiftly. By becoming a snitch, you will be protecting your community.

Snitches are a celebrated part of our community, and if you snitch, you'll be given special rewards, such as a tote bag or cash prizes*!

SNITCHES GET BITCHES.jpg

Furthermore - and this is important - anyone who uses the term "<redacted>" or "<fedpost>" should be snitched upon. I don't know what kind of retards we've got running around here, but apparently they think they can communicate that they are going to commit violence on the public internet using a secret code that they understand and everyone who they're sharing it with understands but law enforcement doesn't understand.

Seriously - if you say something like "tomorrow, I'm gonna <fedpost><fedpost><fedpost>," you could absolutely end up with the feds knocking on your door. No joke. I mean, you might not. But if not, it's going into a file. Maybe they can't find you now, but they save all of it, and will use it against you the first chance you get. But understand: that example alone is absolutely enough to get real life federal cops at your door.

So, snitches: you're not only helping the community, but you're also helping the people you're snitching on! They're putting themselves at risk!

If you see this stuff, smash that report button!

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Other things that should be reported, besides the suggestion of violence:
  • Porno
  • Links to torrents or other copyright infringement
  • Gay shit
Reporting those, however, is much, much less important than reporting posts that include phrases such as "someone should...", "I'd like to...", "they deserve to...", etc. Understand that this is very, very important, as this is the kind of thing that creates problems, which I assume you can imagine.

So please, please, please report this stuff. It's 100% anonymous. No one will know you're the snitch. It's better to report and let the mods decide then it is to not report. Always err on the side of being a complete snitch.

I'm serious.

Just think of all of those prizes you will win if you become the biggest snitch around**!

*Millions will snitch, but few will receive a tote bag or cash. Also, there are no tote bags or cash, as we are legally obligated to inform you, they are metaphorical for the joy you will feel in helping your community through being a snitch.
**There are no prizes.
 
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