Kellogg’s Releases Gay Rimjob Cereal for Faggot Children

Danespear

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The headline is belly laugh funny.

Cooking breakfast for my kids -- eggs and breakfast meat (ham, bacon, or sausage) was honestly one of the greatest joys of my life. Their mom used to give them packaged, processed shit you buy by the 10lb box at Sam's Club. Women of all classes are mostly lazy fucking slobs.

Made my own Icelandic yogurt from grass fed milk, grew most of my own vegetables.... Sure, every once in a while they could have ice cream and fast food etc. (once or twice per month -- nobody likes a zealot asshole....) but it was natural meat and vegetables for the most part. Eschewed anything processed and a lot of grains and sugar.

Now, as young adults, they are fit and healthy. None of them even like soft drinks or junk food. I'm grateful for that.
 
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RedPillStormer

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Semen extraction? Cruelty free? These are some dangerous anti-semetic waters we are treading in.
I think Kellogg only accepts voluntary donations. And just like Wendy's it's "always fresh, never frozen"
 

CharlesWorthing

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Is it healthy to eat bacon / high quality sausages / eggs almost every day?
 

GoatBoy

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Fuck it all.

The sooner this all collapses the better.

Then...

Planetofthegoats.JPG

Show no mercy.
 

anti-barabas-ite

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I'm so old I remember when kellogs was anti masturbation and full on vegans.

the 7th day adventis were onto something.

too bad that vegan part screwed up dietary guidlines so long.

many adherants went onto foist thier religious beliefs onto the diets of all america.

now look 100 years later embracing faggotry,
the inversion of it all!
 

Sharky

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Without giving too much away, I spent some of my early years living near a Kellogg's factory and the nasty smelling fumes drifting out of there put me off their product for life.
 

Brotaku

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Swear to God, my favorite cereal after childhood was Grape Nuts—pour some honey on top, stick in the microwave for 20-odd seconds—that was my thing.

Then I had this friend sleep over when we were in middle school. And we were both pretty much neck deep in pot-smoking and getting drunk—vandalizing community property, getting community service. Just total delinquents.

So I got up, poured myself a bowl of Grape Nuts—not to many left in the box.

He comes out to the kitchen, and then announced, “I don’t know how to tell you this man, but I flicked a booger, and I think it went in your Grape Nuts.”

Just threw the whole thing away. Seriously—they all look like boogers, and I wasn’t going to sit there squeezing the things for 15 minutes to find out which one was his.
Ah yes - Grape Nuts. I used to circumvent my mother's very loosely-enforced "no sugary cereals" rule by heaping sugar on my bowl of Grape Nuts until they became Diabetes Nuts. As far as I was concerned, cereal wasn't cereal unless it looked like Mt Killmanjaro.


(high-resolution closeup of Grape Nuts)
 

Harvey_birdman

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Oh goodness, it looks even gayer thanks I imagined.



I mean, of course Snap, Crackle, and Pop are flaming homos, but Two Scoops Raisin Bran Sun is too? Goddamnit. I legitimately liked Raisin Bran.
 

Wolfgang

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really is the most important meal of the day, and the Breakfast of Champions is the same thing it always was:

Even bacon and eggs is Jewish. Not the food itself, but the meme / idea that it's what you must eat. And this meme of bacon and eggs breakfast is now an integral part of (((American))) culture.
  • Convincing Americans that fluoridated water is safe
  • Organizing the first media event for a US President, a pancake breakfast for Calvin Coolidge
  • Convincing women to smoke by calling cigarettes, "torches of liberty"
  • Convincing Americans that ballet is fun to watch
  • Helping overthrow the government of Guatemala on behalf of the United Fruit Company
  • Convincing America that bacon and eggs is the "true All-American" breakfast
In the 1920s, Bernays was approached by the Beech-Nut Packing Company – producers of everything from pork products to the nostalgic Beech-Nut bubble gum. Beech-Nut wanted to increase consumer demand for bacon. Bernays turned to his agency’s internal doctor and asked him whether a heavier breakfast might be more beneficial for the American public. Knowing which way his bread was buttered, the doctor confirmed Bernays suspicion and wrote to five thousand of his doctors friends asking them to confirm it as well. This ‘study’ of doctors encouraging the American public to eat a heavier breakfast – namely ‘Bacon and Eggs’ – was published in major newspapers and magazines of the time to great success. Beech-Nut’s profits rose sharply thanks to Bernays and his team of medical professionals.
 

Harvey_birdman

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Lolololol. A sawbuck and a half a box! Slap a rainbow on your shit product and automatic sales multiplier!


Edit to add - on a side note, children’s cereal has gotten really horrifying. I remember they had to try to trick parents into buying sugary shit like calling it “fruit loops” even though it contains no fruit. Or “honey smacks” which sounds like it’s made from wholesome honey even though it isn’t. Now it’s just straight up Smorz cereal. Cinnamon Bun cereal.
If you buy your child Smorz cereal you are a bad parent or guardian.
 
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