Help! I Don’t Want My Fiancé’s Racist Sister as a Bridesmaid.

Spartacus

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Q. Racist future sister-in-law:
I’m struggling to balance family obligations versus personal feelings when it comes to having my future sister-in-law as a bridesmaid in my wedding. She and I have only met once and are not close. We are very different, so despite my efforts she’s proved to be challenging to get along with. My fiancé has expressed that it would be important for her to be in our wedding, a sentiment that makes sense and until recently I was totally fine with. He’s asking my brother and brother-in-law to be groomsmen, so it would be weird not to have her as a bridesmaid.

Here’s the problem. During quarantine we’ve been having regular Zoom calls with my fiancé’s family members who live out of state. On a recent Zoom call she used the N-word when referring to the appearance of her bruised toe. My fiancé, his mother, and I were shocked and appalled. We called her out on it, and she didn’t see why it was a problem because she wasn’t using it to describe a specific person. My fiancé later said that he wasn’t surprised because her boyfriend is apparently a “racist POS.” This has really been bothering me. I have friends who are people of color who will be at the wedding and I would hate for the sister-in-law or her boyfriend to say something that upsets them. Also I just really don’t want a racist person at my wedding party.

My parents have said that anything she does will only reflect badly on her, and my fiancé has said that he will speak to her multiple times in the time leading up to the wedding to make sure she stays in line, but I’m still troubled. Am I overthinking this? Is it worth trying to find a way that I can get out of having her as a bridesmaid? I want to go on the path of least drama.

A: Please don’t let your fear of “weirdness” dictate your choices. Even before you realized the extent of your future sister-in-law’s racism, you had every right to decline to ask someone you barely know and don’t like to be a bridesmaid. And of course you’re troubled! Why would you want someone at your wedding who had to receive daily reminders not to be racist in order to attend? “Don’t worry, I’m going to call my sister and remind her not to use racial slurs while we’re getting married” is not the problem-solving magic wand your fiancé seems to think it is. Nor do I think you can say, “Don’t worry, this only reflects badly on her” to your friends of color if she harasses them or uses racial slurs during your wedding. And her claim that it’s fine for her to use racial slurs because she’s not addressing anyone in particular is bizarre and absurd. What she’s trying to do is habituate her family members to her use of racial slurs—slurs that apparently she and her partner both enjoy using—so that they excuse and mitigate it on her behalf to others. You do not have to agree to sign up for that work.

Nor are you overthinking this. Your partner’s sister uses the N-word, does not apologize when called out on it, and reserves for herself to do so again in the future because she believes there are certain “loopholes” she’s entitled to exploit. Tell your fiancé that you do not agree with his “racism management” stance, that you are not willing to have her as part of your bridal party or as a guest at the wedding, and that you expect his full support. Anything less is cowardly capitulation in the face of racism. Don’t stand for it.

 

Iconoclast

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Why would she want to marry into this obviously racist and Nazi family? Does she not realize how much trouble this racist sister-in-law and her now-boyfriend (likely future husband) will bring to her family? How about when her future children will want to become trannys and be shamed and belittled by their cousins, the Nazi offspring of this Nazi woman and her Nazi husband?
In fact, there is no doubt in my mind that her fiance is secretly a Nazi, as is the rest of his family.

Clearly she should dump this loser Nazi White man and look for a nigger. That is the only sane and tolerant thing for a White woman to do.
 

Iconoclast

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The real horror in this story is what in the hell is wrong with the far left ass?
She needs some longline spanx to contain the cellulite. Those type of dresses are really revealing of the slightest bulge. Unless you are naturally slim and young (or at least firm), a bit of artificial help is needed. The far right ass isn't doing so well either, :LOL: although I do respect the fact that it is the FAR RIGHT bridesmaid.;)
 

Palerider1861

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Perhaps you should give your future sister-in-law a pass, because looking at her bruised toe which obviously had turned very black (not to mention horridly painful as well), she was probably just thinking of that famous nursery rhyme from back in the day.
As I recall, it went like this:

"Eenie Meenie Minie Moe,
Catch a nigger by the toe.
If he hollers, let him go!
Eenie Meenie Minie Moe"
 

Ironring

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"I want the least drama solution"

Yea. Un-invite her to be a part of the wedding party and also uninvite her from the wedding. That's gonna be a really really loving start to the marriage.

Also, I like how flexible she's being here. REALLY reasonable reaction to a WORD.
 

Im the horse

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That man should dump her ass ASAP. She’s only going to be a massive problem for him and his entire family. I’m sure she isn’t worth any of this hassle. The sister in law sounds pretty cool though.
 

TheBoom

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That man should dump her ass ASAP. She’s only going to be a massive problem for him and his entire family. I’m sure she isn’t worth any of this hassle. The sister in law sounds pretty cool though.
Yep. Shows she cares more about social justice than the man and will try to make him separate from his family
 

Danespear

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How dare they put this woman through this nightmare! In the lead up to the most important party she’ll ever plan no less! I mean think about it, this is her wedding. HER WEDDING! She might only get two or three more of these in her entire life!

Innocent people and families shouldn’t have to deal with this. There should be a hotline decent people can call or better yet an app. You simply supply the racist POS’s name, address, place of work; description of the racist incident(s) (could even be a drop down menu on the app.); and (for a nominal fee) the racist POS goes away. They disappear. Never to darken the world again with their hated hateful hate.

You could call it HateAway or something but in that faux Latin Harry Potter spell language (Tikkun Olam?). That would be awesome!

Get on it, ADL/SPLC/USDOJ/BlackCube!

It’s 2020. What are you waiting for?
 
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Rahaal

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The real horror in this story is what in the hell is wrong with the far left ass?
All of their asses are riddled with cellulites. But I guess it is the new normal in Amerrucah, even among the young-uns.
 

Cathy

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Northwestguy

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This is a great opportunity for the man in this situation to WAKE UP! His wife-to-be is starting drama shit and planning on blacklisting his own sister because she just happened to use an english word that rhymed with digger. That's some weird culty stuff. This peculiar and sinister ape-worshiping faith of hers is obviously much more important to her than her future husband's own sister so it wouldn't be surprising that she'd dump the man too if he somehow offends her culty sensibilies and accidently utters some prohibited word or something.

Cults teach its adherents to cut off all non-cult contacts including family and this nigger-cultist is doing just that. Unless the husband-to-be is himself a zealous nigger-cultist and thus a literal cuck he will be dumped quite soon.
 

Mundus

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Why would she want to marry into this obviously racist and Nazi family? Does she not realize how much trouble this racist sister-in-law and her now-boyfriend (likely future husband) will bring to her family? How about when her future children will want to become trannys and be shamed and belittled by their cousins, the Nazi offspring of this Nazi woman and her Nazi husband?
I see a syndicated sitcom. The extended family are always getting up to Nazi shenanigans with hilarious results.
 

Shoahvanist

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I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the person giving the ‘answer’ portion of this article is a Jewish Woman.

What kind of advice is it to completely exclude the groom’s sister from the entire Wedding? If my brother did that to me then I would never speak to him again, and it would tear the family apart. Is that really worth some retarded virtue signalling?
 

sing1876

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I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the person giving the ‘answer’ portion of this article is a Jewish Woman.

What kind of advice is it to completely exclude the groom’s sister from the entire Wedding? If my brother did that to me then I would never speak to him again, and it would tear the family apart. Is that really worth some retarded virtue signalling?
I guess it is, if you really want to be a good goy. Political correctness seems to be a religion, where you can't associate with heretics. Most religions aren't that extreme, however.

It's awful that she would be given advice like this. Part of being in a family is getting along with the other members, despite their alleged flaws. This is cult like thinking.
 

Danespear

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Casual racism is the most human racism.

It's not normal, and frankly inhuman, to go through life constantly self-censoring everything you think. It leads to insanity which is why they want you doing it.

No one is going to die if you say "nigger." If it were otherwise, every hip hop artist and rapper would be convicted of genocide.
 

Shoahvanist

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I guess it is, if you really want to be a good goy. Political correctness seems to be a religion, where you can't associate with heretics. Most religions aren't that extreme, however.

It's awful that she would be given advice like this. Part of being in a family is getting along with the other members, despite their alleged flaws. This is cult like thinking.
Like, even if I was uncomfortable with a sibling of my partner, I might not have them in the groom/bridal party, but I would at least stick them on a table somewhere, because refusing to include them at all would break the entire family unit forever, and will ultimately lead to the dissolution of the marriage itself over time.

That’s some Megan Markle shit right there.
 
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