@gian Needs To Forgive His Mother

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I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I’m not a petty person. I’m not a weak person. I don’t harbor a victim mentality.
All of that is against my core nature.

But she has a history of doing the unforgivable against her own offspring, spanning decades:
  • Neglect and abuse in too many ways to list
  • Alienation from father— deliberate
  • Theft of college money
  • Theft of inheritance - violated criminal statutes
  • forcing son into situations that were pathological and criminal with full knowledge, when he was too young to protest
  • Illegal collecting on son’s psychiatric disability — leaving son in poverty 600 miles from home while illegally claiming him as a dependent in her residence
  • Lying — pervasive and constant
  • Character assassination to extended family: unfounded
All that said, I don’t like listing these things. WE WENT THROUGH THEM A YEAR AGO.

I’m not a grievance collector.

But quite frankly, I don’t like her.

And I want her to get the punishment she’s earned.

Not only don’t I forgive her, but I have a particular interest in seeing her brought to divine justice.

Do all of you and Andrew Anglin believe husbands who were divorce-raped and falsely criminally accused need to forgive the wives that did this to them? Think along those lines……
Gian, only you can know what really happened. Don't let it ruin your life and try not to think about the past. You are your own person.
 

Herminator

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Please excuse the interjection, but what does this mean?
Men are not equal to women. Mother's of old were granted certain rights over their children. Dad's of old would make it understood at a certain age that women did not have ultimate authority over men, and that young boys developing into young men should recognize this fact. That is all lost now where women/mothers exploit their supposed authority over any man they can, which includes their husband and young boy sons.

Forgiving your mother is an essential step towards becoming your own man. What is entails, is taking all the anger you have towards all the damage your mother may have done to you because of what is listed above and discovering or realizing, "Wow, this stupid bitch is just an idiot without a soul, if I am to really love her and move forward to become the man I am meant to be (which is always possible - even if you are already old) then I forgive her behavior, because that behavior no longer has the power it once did. Now that I realize she was just a stupid manipulative child, and I am becoming a man, it's laughable.

You can do it to her face or not. You can just go, "I move on" in your heart and mind.

And your free, until tomorrow. Little joke there, you are FREE FOREVER.
 

Mark

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Men are not equal to women. Mother's of old were granted certain rights over their children. Dad's of old would make it understood at a certain age that women did not have ultimate authority over men, and that young boys developing into young men should recognize this fact. That is all lost now where women/mothers exploit their supposed authority over any man they can, which includes their husband and young boy sons.

Forgiving your mother is an essential step towards becoming your own man. What is entails, is taking all the anger you have towards all the damage your mother may have done to you because of what is listed above and discovering or realizing, "Wow, this stupid bitch is just an idiot without a soul, if I am to really love her and move forward to become the man I am meant to be (which is always possible - even if you are already old) then I forgive her behavior, because that behavior no longer has the power it once did. Now that I realize she was just a stupid manipulative child, and I am becoming a man, it's laughable.

You can do it to her face or not. You can just go, "I move on" in your heart and mind.

And your free, until tomorrow. Little joke there, you are FREE FOREVER.
This is just a bunch of meaningless abstraction to me. And it doesn't answer my question, which was about Gian specifically. How can you presume to know what's best for him? That is very arrogant.
 

Herminator

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This is just a bunch of meaningless abstraction to me. And it doesn't answer my question, which was about Gian specifically. How can you presume to know what's best for him? That is very arrogant.
Ok.
 

Herminator

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It's completely arrogant to think that men can not see the potential in each other and discern that someone may be stuck in a position that you yourself have been in and got out of and offer the solution to help better that person. It is not arrogant to know, from life experience, that being in that situation may have cost you years of potential off your life because you yourself were not guided and therefore offer the guidance.

Arrogant would be to assume he takes the advice, but he does not have to. But you also have many respected men on this site offering the guidance. We are not being arrogant.
 

Mark

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Letting go of the anger requires forgiveness, I believe.
Not necessarily, but it may. Letting go of anger can simply mean turning away from it. And to expound a bit...
There are a few individuals in my life, male and female, who I have actively hated, having been slighted, bullied or cheated by them in some way or another. And there is no question of my ever 'forgiving' them, for these people have transgressed way too far for that to happen. I don't, and will not ever forget. However, I've always let go of these grudges over time, as it's just too exhausting investing all that emotional energy into it. So I just turn away from them - and wallah - they are no longer relevant.
 
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UnCL3

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Please excuse the interjection, but what does this mean? How can you speak for someone else's circumstances? It seems to me that this is @Gian 's business.
you don't understand the gravity of the situation...have you read page 1?
 

Mark

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you don't understand the gravity of the situation...have you read page 1?
No, but I will now.

Update: actually, I do remember skimming over this some days ago. And if you look at my post just above your most recent one, you'll see what I said about this idea of forgiveness. Yes, he really needs to let go of that anger; it will destroy him. But I'm actually on @Gian 's side about not forgiving. However, he must deal with his hate before it consumes him which doesn't necessarily entail any forgiveness (which I take to mean explicitly telling the person who you hate that you forgive them). That's just not realistic in certain situations, as I just don't roll that way.
Anyway, that's just my 2 cents.
 
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UnCL3

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No, but I will now.

Update: actually, I do remember skimming over this some days ago. And if you look at my post just above your most recent one, you'll see what I said about this idea of forgiveness. Yes, he really needs to let go of that anger; it will destroy him. But I'm actually on @Gian 's side about not forgiving. However, he must deal with his hate before it consumes him which doesn't necessarily entail any forgiveness (which I take to mean explicitly telling the person who you hate that you forgive them). That's just not realistic in certain situations, as I just don't roll that way.
Anyway, that's just my 2 cents.
We’re trying to save his soul dood
 

Mark

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We’re trying to save his soul dood
I'm not sure what you mean by this. Do you mean that Gian should look his mother in the eye and then say that he forgives her? Will that somehow dissolve his hatred for her? It sounds to me like he should just get the hell out of there!
 
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UnCL3

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I'm not sure what you mean by this. Do you mean that Gian should look his mother in the eye and then say that he forgives her? Will that somehow dissolve his hatred for her?
As Master Chief explains, all men must forgive their mothers to be able to let go and be the best man he can be.
This is eating @Gian up, as his brother @Panzerhund will attest.

He should do this while he still has the chance. My mother passed away long before I realized I needed to forgive her. :(
 

Gian

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He should do this while he still has the chance. My mother passed away long before I realized I needed to forgive her. :(
😔
 

GoodOlboY

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As Master Chief explains, all men must forgive their mothers to be able to let go and be the best man he can be.
This is eating @Gian up, as his brother @Panzerhund will attest.

He should do this while he still has the chance. My mother passed away long before I realized I needed to forgive her. :(
Not forgiving your mother means you believe women are equal to men. Simple as.
 

Gian

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UnCL3

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Gian

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@Gian , have you read my post? You don't have to agree with it, but at least read it. 😢
Must have missed it. Going to look for it now…..
 
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